I just gotta say - living in this TENT rocks! I am walking and learning from and engaging with a God who knows me. He wants to know me more and wants me to seek him and know him. I used to be so hung up on where I was. Where I wasn't is more of what I was hung up on. Where I am is more important than where I think I need to be or where I know I am headed. Not to say that you shouldn't have goals and dreams, but that you can't base where you are today, right now, and how great your relationships with God is on where you know you should be! OK this sounded better in my head. What I am trying to say is this.. I realized that when I stopped comparing myself to everyone is see and what they are doing spiritually, it made my place with God clear to me. You see, the only way I can judge what others are doing with God is by what I can see. And what I can see has nothing to do with what God is doing on the inside of them. I know that all I do outwardly for God means nothing to him if what is in my heart is not lining up with whats on my face, whats in my hands, what comes out of my mouth....
Only I can know where I am with Him. And only I can sit in the my moment with Him and know that he sees my heart.
Where am I?
I am in an army. I am gearing up for battle. I am talking. I am walking. I am following.
The places I sit, stand, wait, rejoice.. aren't actual spots but more of moments.
I am in a moment. A moment with my heavenly father. Many moments. Always changing. Always in a moment.
It doesn't matter where I am. He is with me in every moment.
Yesterday I typed up a big blog post about the pine tree in my front yard. It was good but when I added the photo to it - the text went away and poof all my writing had gone! One day I will retype it but for now I am gonna leave it as a God way of me not sharing that with you this week.
Today after getting the big kids all to school ( a process that starts at 6:30am and ends at 9:00am ) - I took out the trash bag to the curb - today is trash day - and I walked over to my small tomato patch, under my giant pine tree, to check out my harvest! I didn't bring a bag or a bucket or any type of carrying container to bring anything back with me. I didn't plan ahead as I walked out to deposit the garbage in the can.. and think that I might bring something back in the house with me. Really it never crossed my mind that anything that I would ever need to bring in would require more than what my two hands could carry. I wasn't expecting big things from the seeds I planted months ago. The plants themselves are big and strong and look as though many fruit would come from them. Until now I only pulled about 10 tomatoes from the 8 or so bushes growing.
I walked over to them across our overgrown lawn ( I had Alex turn the sprinklers off so the grass will chill out) and bent down to check out what was red enough to grab. The plants had grown so much I had to first tie them up a little tighter to pull them farther away from the ground. I am wearing a hoodie sweater today ( which says I LOVE MY HUSBAND on it - I really really really do) and it has two small pockets which I put the two tomatoes into as I picked them. When I lifted the plants up I saw that there were more tomatoes then I had first seen. I grabbed them and put them in my pocket too. Now that I was on my knees and looking at all the plants I saw even more and as I moved to grab more - the fruit that was in my pockets would fall out.. I didn't have a way to hold all that I was harvesting. I think I dropped them 3 or 4 times.
It made me realize, God is really stretching my faith in Him. I keep wanting more and asking for him to pour into my life. But have I provided the place for which all that he gives me will fit? Have I made room for what he wants for me?
Working in the garden is so rewarding. I see so much about myself and get to see how God wants to work in my life when I am outside working on it. I planted two small gardens this year - one is my strong tomato plants and the other is (or I should say was) a variety of veggies on the other side of the house. The variety side didn't make it -- -for a few reasons. I think it needed more direct light ( oh the things I could write about that) and the other being that I wasn't home enough to keep the weeds away ( and yet another amazing topic).
My point ( yes sometimes I have one) is that you never know what your harvest will be. You never know when it will come. But what are you expecting? Are you running up to God and saying "I'm ready" but holding out a tiny basket that holds what you already know you can handle? Or are you standing boldly with a line of wheel barrels ready to haul away all that he can provide?
God is able. He can do so much more than we ask or imagine!
Ephesians 3:20-21
New King James Version (NKJV)
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
